Sorry wedding. You accomplished your purpose and then I forgot about you. But no longer! (I'm stealing R.A.'s subjects to get me started:)
[I started this post a month ago, but what better day to insert photos and post it than our third wedding anniversary?]
Budget
Well, I just said I was going to think about and write about our wedding didn't I? But apparently not enough to click over a few times and open up our wedding budget spreadsheets. Oops.
I don't remember the exact total. All told, we probably spent $2,500. That includes just about everything - rehearsal dinner, venue, music, flowers, photography, food, backyard renovations, our clothing, bridesmaid dress fabric, groomsman ties, honeymoon, etc. We obviously did a lot of prep work ourselves and then had very, very generous friends and family help out with implementing our various projects.
Location and Time
We hosted the rehearsal dinner and reception at my parents' backyard. We couldn't stomach the idea of paying $500-1,000 for a venue (for a few hours) when we could spend half that and do a few upgrades on my parents' backyard (that would then last for years to come).
The ceremony took place at our church, which wasn't decorated except for the two vases of flowers up front. (My mom was especially skeptical about this, but I didn't want pew bows, etc!)
The ceremony started at 4:00pm (or it was supposed to) and then dinner was served at 6:00pm. And we left around 11:30pm.
Theme
Hmm. Theme? Well. Simple? Colorful? One of the (aesthetic) things I loved best about our wedding was the colorful bridesmaid dresses and groomsmen ties.
Wardrobe
I hated the very thought of dress shopping. So I didn't? My mom and sisters and I went to a wedding expo right before we got engaged and I did try on a few dresses there. But I thought I knew I wasn't interested in traditional wedding dress shopping. I'd gone with a friend or two and couldn't imagine myself repeating the experience for myself. In retrospect, it wouldn't have hurt me to try. But as was the case with many of my wedding decisions, I was (over)reacting to the Wedding Industrial Complex and completely preoccupied with finishing my thesis.
I also loved the idea of a homemade wedding dress. My mom made her wedding dress and though it hadn't fit me since I was like eight, I'd always kinda wanted to wear her dress or make my own. But... Mom could sew a dress for me? She did and I'm so glad. I loved wearing it and thought it beautiful. But it was a lot of work and so now, looking back, I wish I had looked for white dresses at JC Crew, Nordstroms, etc. (Basically all of these "anti-WIC" blogs I still subscribe to in my feed reader and the accompanying trend have since shown me so many more options since planning my own wedding a mere three years ago.)
The night before the wedding when I tried on the dress a few people convinced me I should wear a veil of sorts so Mom quickly sewed some lace onto a piece of fabric and we tucked it into my hair. I definitely wish I hadn't succumbed. It was totally too small and I didn't even want it in the first place.
My bridesmaids all met at our new house before photographs and helped each other/me with hair and makeup, which was fun and made time fly by quickly.
We were pretty sure we didn't want suits (well, and tuxedos were never even considered). I didn't want vests, but Seth thought he/the groomsmen needed dresses to look more formal than simply slacks and long sleeved shirts and ties. As it turns out, he was probably right: they all looked dashing. He chose a white vest to stand apart. They all bought $30 khakis from Men's Warehouse and rented their vests there too, but provided their own shoes and shirts. My mom made their ties.
As I said, I loved the bridesmaid dress colors. Someone (cough, cough, Hannah) thought it was a horrible idea. And truth be told, I hadn't seen very many examples of mismatched bridesmaid dresses while planning our wedding (in the last few years, I don't know that I've been to a wedding with matching dresses!). I just love the jewel tones. Of course, this meant that they were responsible for having the dress made... I was grateful then and now that their mothers are so handy and so generous with their time!
The groomsmen had ties (that my mom made) out of the same fabric as the bridesmaid they accompanied down the aisle.
Bridal Party
We knew we were going to ask my three sister and Seth's brother to stand up with us. And beyond that it was a pretty easy choice of who to ask to stand up with us. I'm so glad that my cousin Rachel was willing to be my bridesmaid! I do regret not asking my friends Ann and Hilary, though. And I think Seth wishes he had asked his cousin.
Flowers
This is one of those things that I only marginally cared about. I wanted loose handfuls of wildflowers, but we didn't end up growing enough to do the flower arrangements on the tables and the bouquets. And we didn't figure that out very far ahead of time. Thankfully, some of the women in our church (who had offered to arrange the bouquets the day of) loved us by donating flowers out of their yards to supplement. Actually, I say supplement, but they changed the bouquets entirely, deciding on deep purple hydrangeas for the bridesmaids and white hydrangeas and roses for mine. Even though that's far from what I had in mind, they turned out beautifully.
Photography
We asked a friend of ours to photograph our wedding. I suppose of all the wedding details, I was uncomfortable with figuring out a photographer? Although I understand the time/effort involved in taking and editing photographs, the price tag of an established photographer wasn't something I found justifiable. The only thing I regret is not having more ideas for shots. I suppose I was somewhat expecting to be bossed around? And in general, I do feel uncomfortable posing for photographs. Therefore there aren't that many photos of Seth and I.
I liked the idea of a photo booth but wasn't willing to pay for one and didn't bother to spend the time to set up the (makeshift one) I envisioned. Oh well.
Reception
Our reception was so much fun. I'm so glad we had it in my parents' backyard - that made it cozy and comfortable. I loved the minimal decorations. I loved the yummy food (taco salad! customizable for any allergy/vegetarian options, my favorite meal and relatively inexpensive and easy to serve). I loved the dance floor under white Christmas lights. I loved that Kaleb DJed. I loved that we really did get to talk to so many people. I loved that we got family photos. I loved how much fun everyone had. Oh, it was so great.
We wanted to be among the last to leave the reception, and I think we were. It's my pet peeve when the bride and groom race off from their reception. I tried to think of another way to phrase that because it sounds so harsh, but it's true! It bugs me to no end! What are they in a hurry for? They get to be married for the rest of their lives. Celebrate with the people who are wanting to celebrate with you!
Honeymoon
Um, we stole my bestie's honeymoon and I'm totally not sorry.
We spent Saturday, Sunday and Monday nights at our house (and saw some of Seth's family and settled in a bit to our house.) Then on Tuesday we went Orcas Island. We missed two ferries (laziness then traffic), so we had to find our little cabin in the dark, but it was great. Private, cute. Much better than a hotel. We got burgers at the Orcas Hotel (yum!) and spent five hours driving around the island. Every little road, every big road. And we climbed up Mt. Constitution too. We took naps, got ice cream, watched Fantastic Mr. Fox. Five museums made me happy.
Best of all, we really just enjoying one another's company. I think we were just really glad to finally be together. Six months of thesis writing and then the wedding work just after that, plus Seth working lots and lots, left little time for us to be together much before the wedding. It was a great low key yet exotic honeymoon.
***
I was very apprehensive about A Big Wedding Day. It was really important to us to invite "everyone". That was our priority: that anyone who wanted to come felt welcomed. And thus budget/style choices were made... I think 330 people were counted at the ceremony? The sanctuary was pretty full.
To my surprise, though, I felt very relaxed throughout the day and I enjoyed myself thoroughly. The whole evening was just very joyous. I guess I felt glad that this big irrevocable deed had been done - no more second guessing! no more planning! And no more questions about wedding planning! I can't say I disliked wedding planning, exactly. Just that I'm really glad my sisters and friends did like it so much and were so very helpful.
The days leading up to the wedding, I didn't do as much as I should have to help - I delegated "too much" in order to spend time with people. So there were a few things that didn't get done like I wanted them to be. Like the photo booth. I wanted fabric covering the whole wall, the computer plugged in and turned on, with the door open for the first hour of the reception, with a sign directing people, telling them what to do... Like a play list (yay again for Kaleb!)... Besides our photograph on the invitations and programs (grrr, but serves me right for giving up creative control... whatever embellishment looks good to you, I said...), the most annoying thing about the wedding was that we got forced into eating cupcakes in front of everyone in lieu of cutting the cake? despite my specific instructions that not happen. So obviously I have nothing of substance to complain about.
I'm very appreciative of everything everyone did to help that did go well (and even that didn't - it was so very kind and generous and sweet) and a few mishaps don't matter. I didn't notice or care, day of.
The biggest thing (besides that we got married) I remember is the outpouring of love we felt. So many people spent so much of their time, effort and money to be there to celebrate with us, or to share their talents to help us make the day so special. I've always felt very loved from my family (immediate and extended), my church family and my friends, but the wedding brought out very tangible expressions of that love.
