Wedding Memories

I just wrote about lots of wedding details, but I found an old email that I wanted to post about my impressions of our wedding day. I wrote the following to my friends after our honeymoon:

Waking up and having some time to myself - just for a few minutes - to drive to my house alone and be there and pray was great. Then Ali showed up, then bridesmaid after bridesmaid. Getting ready together was great. It was fun to laugh together and made my nervousness disappear. 

Then photos.  

Then hanging out at the church. Ali and Charissa took turns reading Anne of Green Gables to me. 

Then waiting for the ceremony with Dad was sweet (light hearted too). I couldn't see Seth at all as I was walking up the aisle. Because the pews are divided into three sections and we were coming up the side aisle, at an angle, and because everyone was standing up, I couldn't see him until I was a mere five feet away from him! It was hard to know where to look or what to think. All I remember noticing was just that the church seemed really full and that I was really happy. 

It's funny; I ugly cried at the rehearsal, remember? (But how could you not? That made quite the impression on everyone, I'm sure.) But when Dad saw Mom, who was crying, he started to cry. We walked two feet further and got to the front and! Seth was crying too! Rich waited a moment for Dad to compose himself, then asked "who gives this woman?"... then Rich started crying too! So I was surrounded by all of these tears. I'd already gotten all of my tears out at the rehearsal, so I just stood there smiling. Rich even said that I was the most glowing bride he's ever seen!?!  

I actually listened to the sermon. I've always wondered about that, whether or not the bride and groom hear the sermon. But I did. And it wasn't embarrassing like it had the potential to be. I mean, not that Rich would deliberately embarrass me, but sometimes he tells silly stories... The gospel was proclaimed, he reminded us of important truths. I think I messed up on my vows - no, I know I did. I said "I will" twice, not "I will" and "I do".
I just felt perfectly at peace and loved. We've taken forever to get married, so it was just time to (finally?)olk promise our lives to each other. 

Then photos... oh my. The groomsmen took some ridiculous photos. Jacob didn't tell us what to do (Seth and I particularly) what to do, which is either great or not so great. Maybe he should have. Because I didn't have "good" ideas of what I wanted to do. Just what I didn't want to do. (Surprise! Not like anything wedding-planning related.)
Then we drove to my parents' house. Family photos didn't go as planned. Hannah and Jack went to the store? so we obviously couldn't take photos without them. We got kinda-sorta an Anderson family photo later in the night, by my grandparent's car. And that's ok-ish, because we do see them often enough that we can recreate another photo. Dad's family, which is bigger and more spread out, all across the US (Hawaii, Caymen Islands, Oregon, California, Washington D.C.), so we don't see them all that much and thus can't take family photos together very often. 

Food was yummy. I guess they ran out of a few things (like chicken)... Mom and I still haven't sat down and made notes about what we were glad we bought, what we should have bought more of, etc. Seth and I sat with my Grandpa and shoveled food in our mouths. Then we went table by table to talk to people. I'm actually really happy that we were so successful talking to so many people. Sure, there were a few people we missed, but we did a pretty good job. And we had some "real" conversations too. Personal conversations, I mean. I wish we had been able to talk to more people and for longer, but I do feel like we tried our best. 

Toasts were... interesting? Very sweet. I didn't know what to expect at all. Toasts are always so awkward, but still. My Dad made me tear up. Um, the cupcakes thing, that was something that was a "bust". People were supposed to get them after toasts. Not wait for us. But despite the fact I explained that several times, the ladies from church didn't let anyone take cupcakes until Seth and I went over there. They came and got us and wanted us to feed each other. So awkward. I felt so uncomfortable. 

Dancing... we had a rocking dance floor. I didn't want to dance - I don't really like dancing on a good day, but every time I went out on the floor everyone stopped dancing to watch! Again, it was one of those "this is totally uncomfortable" things... But a lot of that is that it's only uncomfortable if I let it be uncomfortable. Seth, in contrast, looovveess dancing. Lucky me.

I didn't spent that much time with Seth, but we connected throughout the night. There were a few stolen kisses, a few smiles and whispered "I love you"s. His grandma should have been taken to the hotel after dinner, because she didn't seem especially comfortable sitting on the couch looking out on the dance floor. We should have thought of that and arranged for a ride for her. 

Seth and I left around 11:30? Midnight? Hil went and got my car (after Ruth's light blue 4 door Ford Escort - not my dark blue 2 door Ford Escort - was half decorated by the groomsmen). Then the groomsmen smeared cupcakes all over it in the driveway. We spread the word we were leaving and people made a oh, what is it called? They stood on either side and made a path with their bodies and arms... Then we got in the car and some of the guys (who, I don't know) jumped on it and shouted "get 'er done! get 'er done!" a bunch of times as we started the car and tried to drive way.

Wedding Recap

Recently I discovered a new blog and one of the posts, "Our Wedding Detailed," made me want to think about our wedding again... I haven't really thought about it - at least in terms of what - or looked at photographs for ages (if at all since it happened). That's more a reflection on what happened immediately after the wedding (Ezra) rather than on the wedding itself.

Sorry wedding. You accomplished your purpose and then I forgot about you. But no longer! (I'm stealing R.A.'s subjects to get me started:)

[I started this post a month ago, but what better day to insert photos and post it than our third wedding anniversary?]

Budget

Well, I just said I was going to think about and write about our wedding didn't I? But apparently not enough to click over a few times and open up our wedding budget spreadsheets. Oops. 

I don't remember the exact total. All told, we probably spent $2,500. That includes just about everything - rehearsal dinner, venue, music, flowers, photography, food, backyard renovations, our clothing, bridesmaid dress fabric, groomsman ties, honeymoon, etc. We obviously did a lot of prep work ourselves and then had very, very generous friends and family help out with implementing our various projects.

Location and Time
We hosted the rehearsal dinner and reception at my parents' backyard. We couldn't stomach the idea of paying $500-1,000 for a venue (for a few hours) when we could spend half that and do a few upgrades on my parents' backyard (that would then last for years to come).

The ceremony took place at our church, which wasn't decorated except for the two vases of flowers up front. (My mom was especially skeptical about this, but I didn't want pew bows, etc!)

The ceremony started at 4:00pm (or it was supposed to) and then dinner was served at 6:00pm. And we left around 11:30pm.

Theme
Hmm. Theme? Well. Simple? Colorful? One of the (aesthetic) things I loved best about our wedding was the colorful bridesmaid dresses and groomsmen ties.

Wardrobe

I hated the very thought of dress shopping. So I didn't? My mom and sisters and I went to a wedding expo right before we got engaged and I did try on a few dresses there. But I thought I knew I wasn't interested in traditional wedding dress shopping. I'd gone with a friend or two and couldn't imagine myself repeating the experience for myself. In retrospect, it wouldn't have hurt me to try. But as was the case with many of my wedding decisions, I was (over)reacting to the Wedding Industrial Complex and completely preoccupied with finishing my thesis.

I also loved the idea of a homemade wedding dress. My mom made her wedding dress and though it hadn't fit me since I was like eight, I'd always kinda wanted to wear her dress or make my own. But... Mom could sew a dress for me? She did and I'm so glad. I loved wearing it and thought it beautiful. But it was a lot of work and so now, looking back, I wish I had looked for white dresses at JC Crew, Nordstroms, etc. (Basically all of these "anti-WIC" blogs I still subscribe to in my feed reader and the accompanying trend have since shown me so many more options since planning my own wedding a mere three years ago.)

The night before the wedding when I tried on the dress a few people convinced me I should wear a veil of sorts so Mom quickly sewed some lace onto a piece of fabric and we tucked it into my hair. I definitely wish I hadn't succumbed. It was totally too small and I didn't even want it in the first place.

My bridesmaids all met at our new house before photographs and helped each other/me with hair and makeup, which was fun and made time fly by quickly. 

We were pretty sure we didn't want suits (well, and tuxedos were never even considered). I didn't want vests, but Seth thought he/the groomsmen needed dresses to look more formal than simply slacks and long sleeved shirts and ties. As it turns out, he was probably right: they all looked dashing. He chose a white vest to stand apart. They all bought $30 khakis from Men's Warehouse and rented their vests there too, but provided their own shoes and shirts. My mom made their ties.

As I said, I loved the bridesmaid dress colors. Someone (cough, cough, Hannah) thought it was a horrible idea. And truth be told, I hadn't seen very many examples of mismatched bridesmaid dresses while planning our wedding (in the last few years, I don't know that I've been to a wedding with matching dresses!). I just love the jewel tones. Of course, this meant that they were responsible for having the dress made... I was grateful then and now that their mothers are so handy and so generous with their time!

The groomsmen had ties (that my mom made) out of the same fabric as the bridesmaid they accompanied down the aisle.

Bridal Party
We knew we were going to ask my three sister and Seth's brother to stand up with us. And beyond that it was a pretty easy choice of who to ask to stand up with us. I'm so glad that my cousin Rachel was willing to be my bridesmaid! I do regret not asking my friends Ann and Hilary, though. And I think Seth wishes he had asked his cousin.

Flowers
This is one of those things that I only marginally cared about. I wanted loose handfuls of wildflowers, but we didn't end up growing enough to do the flower arrangements on the tables and the bouquets. And we didn't figure that out very far ahead of time. Thankfully, some of the women in our church (who had offered to arrange the bouquets the day of) loved us by donating flowers out of their yards to supplement. Actually, I say supplement, but they changed the bouquets entirely, deciding on deep purple hydrangeas for the bridesmaids and white hydrangeas and roses for mine. Even though that's far from what I had in mind, they turned out beautifully.

Photography
We asked a friend of ours to photograph our wedding. I suppose of all the wedding details, I was uncomfortable with figuring out a photographer? Although I understand the time/effort involved in taking and editing photographs, the price tag of an established photographer wasn't something I found justifiable. The only thing I regret is not having more ideas for shots. I suppose I was somewhat expecting to be bossed around? And in general, I do feel uncomfortable posing for photographs. Therefore there aren't that many photos of Seth and I.

I liked the idea of a photo booth but wasn't willing to pay for one and didn't bother to spend the time to set up the (makeshift one) I envisioned. Oh well.

Reception
Our reception was so much fun. I'm so glad we had it in my parents' backyard - that made it cozy and comfortable. I loved the minimal decorations. I loved the yummy food (taco salad! customizable for any allergy/vegetarian options, my favorite meal and relatively inexpensive and easy to serve). I loved the dance floor under white Christmas lights. I loved that Kaleb DJed. I loved that we really did get to talk to so many people. I loved that we got family photos. I loved how much fun everyone had. Oh, it was so great.

We wanted to be among the last to leave the reception, and I think we were. It's my pet peeve when the bride and groom race off from their reception. I tried to think of another way to phrase that because it sounds so harsh, but it's true! It bugs me to no end! What are they in a hurry for? They get to be married for the rest of their lives. Celebrate with the people who are wanting to celebrate with you!

Honeymoon
Um, we stole my bestie's honeymoon and I'm totally not sorry.

We spent Saturday, Sunday and Monday nights at our house (and saw some of Seth's family and settled in a bit to our house.) Then on Tuesday we went Orcas Island. We missed two ferries (laziness then traffic), so we had to find our little cabin in the dark, but it was great. Private, cute. Much better than a hotel. We got burgers at the Orcas Hotel (yum!) and spent five hours driving around the island. Every little road, every big road. And we climbed up Mt. Constitution too. We took naps, got ice cream, watched Fantastic Mr. Fox. Five museums made me happy.

Best of all, we really just enjoying one another's company. I think we were just really glad to finally be together. Six months of thesis writing and then the wedding work just after that, plus Seth working lots and lots, left little time for us to be together much before the wedding. It was a great low key yet exotic honeymoon.

***

I was very apprehensive about A Big Wedding Day. It was really important to us to invite "everyone". That was our priority: that anyone who wanted to come felt welcomed. And thus budget/style choices were made... I think 330 people were counted at the ceremony? The sanctuary was pretty full.

To my surprise, though, I felt very relaxed throughout the day and I enjoyed myself thoroughly. The whole evening was just very joyous. I guess I felt glad that this big irrevocable deed had been done - no more second guessing! no more planning! And no more questions about wedding planning! I can't say I disliked wedding planning, exactly. Just that I'm really glad my sisters and friends did like it so much and were so very helpful.

The days leading up to the wedding, I didn't do as much as I should have to help - I delegated "too much" in order to spend time with people. So there were a few things that didn't get done like I wanted them to be. Like the photo booth. I wanted fabric covering the whole wall, the computer plugged in and turned on, with the door open for the first hour of the reception, with a sign directing people, telling them what to do... Like a play list (yay again for Kaleb!)... Besides our photograph on the invitations and programs (grrr, but serves me right for giving up creative control... whatever embellishment looks good to you, I said...), the most annoying thing about the wedding was that we got forced into eating cupcakes in front of everyone in lieu of cutting the cake? despite my specific instructions that not happen. So obviously I have nothing of substance to complain about.

I'm very appreciative of everything everyone did to help that did go well (and even that didn't - it was so very kind and generous and sweet) and a few mishaps don't matter. I didn't notice or care, day of.

The biggest thing (besides that we got married) I remember is the outpouring of love we felt. So many people spent so much of their time, effort and money to be there to celebrate with us, or to share their talents to help us make the day so special. I've always felt very loved from my family (immediate and extended), my church family and my friends, but the wedding brought out very tangible expressions of that love.

Our Names: Ezra

Long before I was pregnant, let alone dating/married to Seth, some of my friends teased me about naming my children after local historical figures. I thought it was a great idea, but children weren't on the horizon, so it remained just a joke.

One of the names suggested, however, was Ezra (after Ezra Meeker) and this suggestion stayed with me, somewhere in the far recesses of my brain.

When we found out we were pregnant, and when we found out we were having a boy, the name Ezra immediately came to mind and just wouldn't go away. I tried so hard to find another name I loved, but nothing compared.

My biggest "problem" with the name Ezra was that my best friend's nephew went by the name Ezra (one of his two middle names). Though "Ezra" has been gaining in popularity throughout the last decade (see the below chart), it was still uncommon enough that I was willing to use it - except that someone we knew had just used it! How could we? What if these two boys went to school together someday (say, to the high school that their parents had all attended)? They'd only be a year or two apart. What if my friend had children? Her children would have a cousin named Ezra and a BFF named Ezra. I was determined to reject the name and find something else.

But it fit our criteria/our criteria fit it. I couldn't keep myself from thinking of it as our baby's name, especially as I read through the Book of Ezra.

As I explained, the original reason we thought of the name Ezra was because of Ezra Meeker. Ezra Meeker was hugely influential in early Puget Sound history and in my historical research for my thesis, I grew to admire him greatly. (Also, one of my favorite dates was at Meeker Mansion... Seth knew I wanted to go, because I'd never gone before and had mentioned that fact numerous times, and completely surprised me one day - actually, June 25, 2009, according to meticulous Gmail records - by taking me, and spending hours there, reading everything along with me...)

But as we talked about the name Ezra, I spent a good deal of time reading the Book of Ezra and about the Biblical Ezra (who wrote Ezra and Nehemiah). I quickly grew to admire him as well and appreciated that he was a historian as well as priest.

Ezra 7:6 "…this Ezra came up from Babylon. He was a teacher well versed in the Law of Moses, which the LORD, the God of Israel, had given. The king had granted him everything he asked, for the hand of the LORD his God was on him."

I appreciated that there was something about the fact that, as I was (reluctantly) taking a break from my historical research to give birth to and raise this baby, I could still give him a name that reflected my interest in history and my desire that he too be interested in both local and Biblical history someday.

As I read the Book of Ezra, about Ezra's leadership in shepherding Jewish exiles from Babylon to Jerusalem and guiding them in a renewed dedication to following God's law, I was encouraged and convicted by the testimony of God's sovereignty in the lives of His people. That is, after all, the thing that I kept being reminded of all throughout my pregnancy.

In his commentary on the Book of Ezra, Matthew Henry says that the book primarily teaches "that God will make His cause to prevail, notwithstanding all obstacles and adversaries" [link]. Ezra preached this to the Jews faithfully, despite their unbelief and stubborn attraction to the world. This is what God was teaching me, throughout my pregnancy, because of my pregnancy. I wanted my son to know that God is sovereign, and that He is faithful. I wanted his name to reflect the fact that I believed God to be sovereign and faithful, to remind both he and I of that fact on a daily basis.

So when I read Ezra 7:10, I found a verse that I wanted to be true of my son as well:

Ezra 7:10 "For Ezra had devoted himself to the study and observance of the Law of the Lord, and to teaching its decrees and laws in Israel." 

As much as I appreciated what I was reading in the Book of Ezra, I was also studying the Book of Isaiah with BSF and reading every text I could find on pregnancy and children in the Bible. Like the story of Isaac. I just loved the way that Abraham and Sarah talked about their hope for a child (even though, at the time, I couldn't quite relate) and more importantly, the way God spoke to them about the child He would give them. So Isaiah and Isaac were pretty high on our list of contenders as well. Isaac had the edge on Isaiah (and we if we chose one of those names, the other would be permanently crossed off the list, because I didn't want repeating initials... that's why Elijah and Ezekiel and, actually briefly Ebenezer, were all rejected if/when we chose Ezra).

As I researched names, I found/was reminded of these prominent Ezras:

Ezra (c. 459 BC), an Old Testament major prophet and scribe
Ezra Abbot (1819–1884), American biblical scholar
Ezra Ames (1768–1836), American portrait painter
Ezra Booth (born 1792), American religious leader
Ezra Jack Keats (1916–1983), American author
Ezra Meeker (1830–1928), American pioneer
Ezra Pound (1885–1972), American poet 

Better Than Ezra, American alternative rock band

None of them made us more inclined toward the name Ezra (well, besides the two Ezras already referenced), but none of them soured us on the name either.

And of course, I looked up Ezra's historical popularity in the United States and decided it was tolerably unpopular enough:

Popularity of the male name Ezra Year of birth Rank 2011 204 2010 242 2009 257 2008 291 2007 340 2006 340 2005 348 2004 379 2003 399 2002 438 2001 428 2000 432 1999 486 1998 488 1997 552 1996 555 1995 650 1994 695 1993 700 1992 790 1991 753 1990 763 1989 720 1988 668 1987 649 1986 709 1985 676 1984 712 1983 717 1982 650 1981 625 1980 670 1979 681 1978 690 1977 673 1976 674 1975 685 1974 733 1973 729 1972 783 1971 825 1970 957 1969 895 1968 996 1967 a 1966 962 1965 957 1964 a 1963 913 1962 a 1961 993 1960 967 1959 997 1958 981 1957 901 1956 888 1955 878 1954 991 1953 821 1952 946 1951 798 1950 792 1949 837 1948 911 1947 909 1946 927 1945 902 1944 791 1943 871 1942 854 1941 919 1940 802 1939 895 1938 863 1937 706 1936 584 1935 671 1934 577 1933 618 1932 675 1931 649 1930 573 1929 581 1928 569 1927 578 1926 514 1925 533 1924 527 1923 474 1922 507 1921 480 1920 512 1919 496 1918 501 1917 486 1916 456 1915 477 1914 467 1913 472 1912 412 1911 428 1910 416 1909 462 1908 504 1907 409 1906 389 1905 366 1904 345 1903 333 1902 395 1901 427 1900 331 1899 367 1898 291 1897 274 1896 272 1895 266 1894 262 1893 283 1892 271 1891 261 1890 263 1889 297 1888 316 1887 291 1886 272 1885 358 1884 262 1883 311 1882 267 1881 230 1880 270 a Not in top 1,000 names for indicated year of birth Note: Rank 1 is the most popular, rank 2 is the next most popular, and so forth. Data are not shown for some of the years you specified because the name Ezra was not in the top 1000 names for those years or because the number of years specified was too large. Name data are from Social Security card applications for births that occurred in the United States.

Our Boys' Names: Intro

Naming our children has been a difficult process. I take most of the blame for that: I'm actually really picky about what names I do/do not like, and was determined to have a name selection "schema"... I really wanted to have a guiding principle for our names, but deciding on it before hand was really difficult! With our first pregnancy, it felt like we weren't just naming one baby but all hypothetical future babies too. As limiting as that was, it was worth it to me because I really wanted our child(ren?)'s names to be be similar in style/sound/significance, etc.

Since we found out the gender for both pregnancies, that narrowed down our selection significantly (and, thankfully, postponed hard decisions about girls names... will we ever agree on a girl's name?).

For our boys' names, Seth wanted Biblical names, but even that wasn't a hard and fast demand. I demanded different first name initials. For boys, I was fine with Biblical names, but for girls I absolutely refused Biblical names. (There just aren't as many girls names in the Bible to begin with, and it seems everyone has used them already.) I really liked the idea of referencing historical (PNW or African American?) figures, but that seemed a little silly to insist on. We weren't opposed to naming our children after family members, but how/who do you choose?

Decisions, decisions.

Announcement! Announcement! Announcement!

We are excited to announce that in approximately six months our family's new addition will be joining us!

Baby Parkinson #2

Due March 20, 2013

Welcome!

One of our goals for 2012 is to be more diligent to stay in contact with the people we love. This, in part, means sharing our lives with them by relaying our activities and thoughts and milestones and photos (and so on!). Thus, this blog was born.

Seth, Autumn and Ezra (July 2011)