Toilet Training

Well, I decided I've had enough of diapers. For Ezra, that is. I'm not about to start elimination communication with Isaac!

It has seemed very clear to me over these last few weeks that Ezra can indeed control his bodily functions, but just doesn't want to give up diapers. Now, for months he's been able to identify what his body needs to do, usually with plenty of notice to get to the bathroom. And I probably pushed a little too hard a few months ago when he first showed interest (and I wasn't hugely pregnant! because he was most interested last February but I squelched that quickly because I was having a hard enough time moving on my own, let alone racing a heavy toddler to the toilet and squatting next to him!). And I, um, dropped him in the toilet and thoroughly traumatized him. I didn't mean to! I just lost my grip and he slipped in.

If he hadn't shown any signs of readiness I wouldn't have pushed him I know he's only two and a half years old. Most literature recommends waiting until a boy is three years old to try any sort of toilet training. But I as convinced he was ready.

Throughout the end of October and early November we tried just about every bribe - special foods and M&Ms and sticker charts, but nothing was appealing enough.

Last Monday morning (Veteran's Day, actually), I decided to put him in underwear give it a try. But it only took an hour or two before I realized I couldn't deal with a rebellious, determined Ezra and a needy Isaac at the same time. Of course I was nursing Isaac at the very moment Ezra needed to use the toilet. I practically tossed Isaac to the ground, but Ezra screamed and screamed and I couldn't even get him to the toilet before he (defiantly?) wet his pants. With two kids screaming at the same time I just gave up and put a diaper on Ezra.

It bothered me all week, though, because Ezra seemed so ready, but also said the most defiant things about never using the toilet. The handful of times I'd tried to set him on the toilet throughout the end of October/early November, he'd hold himself and tell me he'd never ever pee. And he wouldn't until I put him back in a diaper. September had been such a battle of wills, and then October had been such a peaceful month that I both didn't want to spoil our relative peace. And yet, I was rejuvenated enough for another battle. We even splurged on Thomas the Train underwear!

Maybe seeing his younger brother wear underwear will be extra incentive?

Seth had this Monday off, though, so I convinced him to devote the day to helping me help Ezra. He was skeptical because he thought it might be too early, but we agreed that if, after two days, Ezra still wouldn't/couldn't show any progress we'd give it up for another month.

So we just took away diapers from Ezra. He held it for eight hours and screamed and raged whenever we tried to put him on the toilet. When Isaac finally went down for his afternoon nap, Seth went out to run errands. I was sitting on the couch with Ezra, reading to him and he started to pee. My goodness, he'd held it long enough! We ran into the bathroom and as soon as I held him on the toilet, he stopped!?!! I knew, however, that he had to go, since he'd been holding it for so long, so I just held him on the toilet. He screamed and screamed until his face was so red. I felt terrible! It seemed like an hour of agony, but it probably was only five minutes. Ezra had started to calm down, so I just took him off the toilet and, sitting right there in front of the toilet, I just held him.

He wasn't ready. He was so young and I was forcing him to do something he wasn't interested in or able to do, just because I was sick of changing his diapers. I felt so guilty and selfish as I cuddled Ezra. But then I felt this warm sensation in my lap...

I didn't feel quite so charitable as I hurriedly put Ezra right back on the toilet! But as soon as he was back on the toilet he stopped peeing! I held him on, however, as he screamed and thrashed again. After a few (very long!) minutes I took him off and held him again... but he started peeing on me again! Thankfully, though, when I put him on the toilet again he finally used it, instead of me, to finish up.

Success!

That entire episode solidified my conviction that Ezra really could control his bladder and was really being defiant in his refusal to use the toilet. Seth got home a little bit later and we made a big deal about Ezra's success and Ezra tried to pretend like he was indifferent to our rejoicing.

But then I had to go teach piano lessons, so I left Seth with both boys and Ezra still in underwear. And!! when I returned home? Ezra had even pooped in the toilet!!!

Now we're on day three with a decent measure of success. I anticipate it's going to stick this time, if we're consistent. I know he's capable. His accidents thus far have mostly been when I'm not paying close enough attention to his signs or when I'm nursing Isaac. But he has looked me right in the eye and announced his intention to pee in his underwear and then done so. We'll see how it goes! If, after at least a week, this doesn't stick we will happily go back to diapers. I don't want this to set Ezra up for failure or frustrate him. But we're giving it a try!