Things have been pretty rough around here. Seth and I are so sleep deprived and worn out, we're barely coping. But last night there was no coping. Isaac's actually pretty easy. It's the other kid that's driving us crazy with his lack of sleep.
As frustrated and despondent as I am, I can at least see glimmers of grace. Our church started bringing us meals every other day and no having to cook has been a huge blessing. As absolutely manic as Ezra is, he is so very sweet to Isaac (when Isaac is not nursing or using one of Ezra's blankets because he spit up all over his own and I'm behind again on laundry). My mom and dad have been able to take care of Ezra for a few hours every few days and that has been saving my sanity. Next week Seth should get to be home a bit more. He's been working 12 hour days this week, because it's the last week of the month and everyone is moving by the 31st. So hopefully he'll get more rest. (And that's coming on the heels of being gone for eight days combined for David's wedding and a moving job in California...)
I've just never felt so depleted before. (Well, ok, there is that mess that was Ezra's pregnancy and recovery, but the stark emotional and physical pain of that experience has faded a bit in these last two and a half years. And that mostly just affected me; my emotions and my body.) I guess what's hardest is that Seth has been so tired and worn out (with work and Ezra not sleeping). I'm probably worrying about it more than I need to, but he works really hard for us and he never gets to sleep. And then there's Ezra. He's really the one that's suffering the most. He doesn't get nearly the attention he thinks he needs. I'm just grateful that he's too little to remember this season of life. So so grateful.
As frustrated and despondent as I am, I can at least see glimmers of grace. Our church started bringing us meals every other day and no having to cook has been a huge blessing. As absolutely manic as Ezra is, he is so very sweet to Isaac (when Isaac is not nursing or using one of Ezra's blankets because he spit up all over his own and I'm behind again on laundry). My mom and dad have been able to take care of Ezra for a few hours every few days and that has been saving my sanity. Next week Seth should get to be home a bit more. He's been working 12 hour days this week, because it's the last week of the month and everyone is moving by the 31st. So hopefully he'll get more rest. (And that's coming on the heels of being gone for eight days combined for David's wedding and a moving job in California...)
I've just never felt so depleted before. (Well, ok, there is that mess that was Ezra's pregnancy and recovery, but the stark emotional and physical pain of that experience has faded a bit in these last two and a half years. And that mostly just affected me; my emotions and my body.) I guess what's hardest is that Seth has been so tired and worn out (with work and Ezra not sleeping). I'm probably worrying about it more than I need to, but he works really hard for us and he never gets to sleep. And then there's Ezra. He's really the one that's suffering the most. He doesn't get nearly the attention he thinks he needs. I'm just grateful that he's too little to remember this season of life. So so grateful.
We're tentatively planning a trip up to watch the M's opening game at Safeco on Monday. (They're in Oakland for opening day, but Safeco is having an open house to watch the game in the stadium on the big screen.) I'm really excited for it to finally be baseball season. I do wish at least Seth could play softball, let alone me, so we could go to games, but I can deal with just watching and listening to professional baseball. It'd be nice to get a family excursion of any sort, let alone of a baseball sort. We need a fun family outing.
I know this will soon pass. We'll be ok. And we're so very blessed. We do know that. We just have to remind ourselves of that fact often.
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