2020 week 27

June was a yucky month.

I thought May was such an awful month that June surely ought to be better. But instead the world caught on fire and I've been crying as it burns. Of course I'm being dramatic. It's not even as if this past month's cultural unrest is particularly worse than usual. I finally got (mostly) off Facebook and Instagram. I've never been so disgusted with the toxicity of my news feed as I am now. Probably the most revolting part to me is that most of my friends on both accounts are Christians, and I'd scroll through wondering how could someone, who says they love Jesus, say such nasty things?

Like take stupid masks. Do they actually slow the spread of the virus? I don't know. There are research studies showing that they do and others showing that they don't. Some people feel personally convicted to wear them. Others don't. Can we stop there? Why do we need to name call? Job's doctors have asked us to wear masks. So we are. Of course, we're hardly going anywhere, but still. I just can't believe the vitriol being spewed - by both sides! And that's just about stupid stupid masks - not even image bearers of God with various shades of skin.

I know I'm harshest when it comes to Christians and conservatives because I still kinda identify as a conservative... and because who should care about race relations MORE than Christians??? I've been crying about it almost every day. Seth and I aren't really on as opposite extremes as we pretend like we are when we try to talk about it. But we play devil's advocate and talk about the extremes and then just get annoyed with each other. I've been listening to a lot of books on the topic and he's been listening to a lot of lectures on YouTube but they're kinda from opposite viewpoints so now we're trying to both listen to each other's finds. I guess it's become my little project during lockdown? I used to love to study some of these issues but Job's diagnosis and kids in general stalled some of my reading, so there is part of me that's excited to return to a well-loved subject.

Church at home does feel like it's devolving a bit. We're still trying to be reverent but there is something about being in a hard pew that helps with that. For most of lockdown it's actually been really lovely to be at home, able to pause the sermon to answer Isaac's questions. He's really asking such deep questions and we're so excited to see him grow so much. It's an odd tension to practice thankfulness for the technology that allows us to worship at home and wish we were actually there in person.

We played Hearts and Job kept climbing up and playing his air-guitar-sword and making us laugh and delight in him. It's ridiculous that if anyone else ruined our game we'd be irritated, but if Job does it?

I've been getting in the pool a lot this week because Job is so excited about swimming these days. By which I mean, I hold him in the pool. But he's jumping off the deck or sliding in, into my arms and getting acclimated to water. We were all shocked (and a bit resentful, honestly) that when he asked Seth to get in Seth just said "ok!" and got his swimsuit on. Seth really really doesn't like cold water and avoids it as best he can. But Job asks? Of course, we all do that.

Our "trip Tuesday" was pretty boring. To Walmart for pickup groceries and the pharmacy! The boys got into my make up and since they'd already started we just sat in the car for 15 minutes while they decorated their faces to their hearts content.

We also all painted our nails. Job picked green for my fingers. I never paint my fingernails because it never lasts for long, but he thought it would be fun so of course I did it. Also, for the first time in a decade I've actually worn my rings for several days in a row. Actually, it's probably been three weeks now. It's so weird!! I don't really know why I'm doing it. I'm not pregnant so they fit? I got over the initial discomfort? Seth is wearing his ring? I'm just so excited to be married and I want the world to know it?

We pulled out beads Wednesday and made all sorts of creations. And a big mess. We swam a lot on Monday and didn't make something, so I guess we switched the days.

A few weeks ago we watched a Will Ferrel movie about a soccer team and there was a really tall boy and a really short boy on the team, and he made some quip about them combining to be a "megahuman" so Job and Isaac have been walking around like this ever since and Job shouts about being a megahuman.

We listened to two "What/Who Was" books about the Underground Railroad but now we're working through this audiobook together. We haven't listened to a novel together all month!

And we're working hard to do read alouds. I'm reading Sign of the Beaver and Pirate Pig to Isaac and the second of the Wingfeather Saga to Ezra. And picture books to Job. It definitely does take a lot of time but I tell myself it's worth the investment.

I've been having issues with Job's meds. So lots of back and forth with the pharmacy and insurance and the transplant team. So fun. I hardly have to do that any more. Used to be once a week I was doing that song and dance. And going to multiple therapies and appointments. It's so weird that I don't do that nowadays. And it's even weirder to count up all the hours that I used to do it.

Isaac isn't very self-motivated or maybe it's more fair to say he's not one for self-entertaining. Ezra and Job can find things to do all day long, but poor Isaac can't seem to. So we made a schedule. I think it's been working really well, actually. We're only in three weeks, but I'm really seeing the benefits. We've needed routine for so many years. Even before Job was born and life got really chaotic, Seth had such a random job we didn't have much of a schedule. So this has been really nice. I'm trying to hold it loosely because a perfect schedule can be such an idol for me and can tempt me to sin against my family when they mess it up. I'll have to type it up.

Part of our schedule is more crafting and projects. The stuff my kids always want to do but I don't really want to do. They're loving it. I'm loving that they're so excited. But, as I just said. Bead mess. Paper mess. Paint mess. Embroidery floss mess.