On Photographs

At the park the other day, Seth snapped this photo of the boys and I. But he brought his phone to me last night to show me his editing job. I love this photo, and yes, the way Seth edited it.

However, when I see it, I think of how much fun we had at the park and how sweet it is that Seth even looked back through the photos on his phone, let alone edited one of them. That's not at all something he usually does. I definitely try to play family curator, taking photos and then trying to print them and send them to family members or post them online. But sometimes I trick myself into thinking that Seth doesn't care about making/preserving family memories just because he doesn't make as much effort to do so. There are a lot of reasons for that, including our families of origin and our perspectives on historic preservation, etc, but it's completely unfair to equate less effort with just not caring at all.

Avocado Face

My big eater can devour an entire avocado, no problem.

Operation Toilet Training

I'm hesitant to declare Operation Toilet Training a success, but since I'm no longer concerned about Ezra's ability (read: willingness) to communicate his need to use the bathroom successfully, I don't know how else to describe our progress. I guess I'm just afraid that all of this has been some elaborate mind game on his part to raise my hopes and then cruelly dash them.

That being said, what else am I waiting for? Phase one is definitely over. Ezra wears underwear all day and is very good about telling me when he needs to go. Most nights we do have him wear a pull up, but he stays dry through the night half of the time. When we put on his pull up, he usually protests that he doesn't want a diaper, because he's a big boy. But then again, every once in a while he asks to wear a diaper so he can be a baby. I think it's just his obstinacy. As with everything, once Ezra decided he wanted to use the toilet, he did really well.

Ezra does not/cannot go the bathroom all by himself, however. He can pull his underwear up and down, and he can flush the toilet and wash his hands by himself, but using the stool to climb up and sit on the toilet is just a bit much still. Probably primarily because Ezra does still wait until almost the last moment to tell me that he needs to go. Still, I will happily run him to the toilet in exchange for not changing his diapers! In a month or two I'll help him learn to be self-sufficient, but for now I'm glorying in the fact that he's finally out of diapers!

Isaac Typed:

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+67777777705555549999999999999999999999999999999999996.+8+990+/-+*\

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(That's what I get for leaving the computer accessibile.)

Snow!

It snowed! It finally snowed! Isaac went out to "play" in the snow, but then took a nap while Ezra and I played in the snow for a while. We couldn't go on a walk, like Ezra wanted to, because Isaac was napping, but we still had fun. Maybe next time it snows Daddy will be home so we can all play in the snow together. And hopefully build snowmen!

Isaac, Chunky Walker

My baby, my little baby, is waking. He's been taking steps, here and there, for two weeks, and for several days I've been expecting him to switch over completely very soon. But oh. Today he probably walked as much as he crawled. And I've cried and cried.

It feels like his flip has switched now. He is really walking. I wouldn't have said that yesterday. Today, however, has been a different story. And of course it will take a few more weeks before he's comfortable and confident on his legs instead of knees. I suppose it's also possible that he'll regress and decide not to walk anymore.

I don't know if we will have more children. It's possible that Isaac will be our last baby and I won't get to snuggle another baby of my own. And I think it's that fact that makes me so sad. Seth thinks I'm being melodramatic, but he's feeling rather nostalgic too. He just won't admit it so freely.

Ezra doesn't believe that Isaac is growing up. He believes Isaac is a baby and only a baby and always a baby. And it's probably true that we'll call Isaac "baby Isaac" and "Isaac-y" for a long time yet. But he's quickly growing out of babyhood.


**We've always called our children "chunky" because they are the very opposite of chunky, but when Seth labeled Isaac "Chunky Walker" (a la "Walker, Texas Ranger") we just cracked up laughing.

"...Doesn't Have a Mommy"

Lately, whenever Ezra sees someone or something that looks sad or scary, he'll comment on it. "Mommy, look at that girl. She's so sad." "Mommy, look at the scary owl! He's mean and scary!"
Perhaps it started because I sometimes asked, "oh? why do you think she's sad?" or "why is he mean?" but Ezra has started offering his explanation of why said person/thing is sad or scary.

Because they miss their mommy.

"Why is the girl sad?" "Because she doesn't have a mommy and she needs one."

"Why is the owl scary?" "Because he misses his mommy."

We went to the "castle park" (at Fort Steilacoom) today and while Seth made some phone calls in the car, I pushed Ezra and Isaac in the swings. There is a mural painted onto several tiles and framed in the fence around the swing set. It's supposed to be of a dragon, but Ezra always thinks it's a sea horse. A sad, scary Mommy sea horse.

See the "sea horse" to the left of Isaac?

Why is the Mommy sea horse sad? Because she needs to have her kids and she misses them.

It is adorable and flattering... and also heartbreaking.

When we have these conversations, I do sometimes think of Ana and miss her - especially for Seth and Ezra and Isaac's sake. But, more selfishly, I also think of how devastated I would be if anything would happen to my precious children. And then I pray for their safety, yes, but also for my ability to firmly entrust them to their Heavenly Father who loves them ever so much more than I do.

Friday Update #52 (12/27/13)

It's the last Friday of the year! I didn't always publish a Friday update on a Friday (or at all), but I really appreciate the discipline of determining to write a weekly recap, so here's to fifty-two recaps in 2014!

The month of December has been oh so busy for the business, which has been a wonderful providence. We've missed spending extra time with Seth, but he's been trying especially hard to make extra time for the boys.

The boys and I have mostly been home this week. We worked on some Christmas presents from Ezra.

We played a lot and tried to clean during Isaac's nap time, at least.

Christmas Eve we went to my parents' for cheese fondue and games.

Christmas day we opened stockings together and then went to church. Then we went to my parents and exchanged presents among the eight (now eleven) of us. And then we went up to Grandpa and Grandma's house for dinner and more presents. Whew!

Today Seth finally didn't have to work (well, and it wasn't Christmas day) and so we got some things done around the house and then went to the park!

Christmas!

We opened presents at home, then went to church, then to my parents' for more presents, then up to 

my grandparents. The boys were pretty good, even with all the sugar and stimulus.

Christmas Eve!

Seth worked most of the day, so we escaped to my parents early in the day. We all drank from "fancy cups" (and said "cheers" very enthusiastically, every few minutes) and feasted on cheese fondue and played silly games.

Date Night

After the boys finally fell asleep we turned on our favorite (guilty pleasure) TV show and cut up a bunch of snowflakes for Seth's Ugly Christmas Sweater.

He had the great idea of making an ugly sweater for our Sunday School Christmas party, but not until late tonight. Ah well, the kids will still get a kick out of it.

Our kids still aren't great sleepers, but it is so sweet when they do go to bed and stay asleep as they're supposed to and we get an hour or two together before we start falling asleep.

Morning Cuddles and Songs

Ezra fell out of bed in the middle of the night, so I brought him to bed with me. And Isaac couldn't and wouldn't relax and fall asleep unless held (I think he's about to pop a new tooth in), so he came to bed too.

Seth left for work really early this morning, so it was just us three sleeping away until 9:00am!!!! And then we just cuddled. Ezra sang us "Old MacDonald" and "Its First Spider" and Isaac cooed. They're starting to enjoy each other so much more (and bother each other more too...) and I love watching them interact.

It's especially sweet to have morning cuddle time, because there's nothing better than laying in bed as long as possible in the morning.

Friday Update #50 (12/13/13)

One of Seth's employees reminded him of the existence of Spanaway's Fantasy Lights and so for several days Seth kept trying to make it work for the four of us to go see them. Something always prevented us, so when we made plans to go on Saturday we half expected the would fall through too.

Even as we drove there we second-guessed whether or not we should really go because Ezra was acting tired and fussy. We persevered, however, and had such a wonderful time! Everything is more fun through Ezra's eyes and looking at Christmas lights this year has been no exception.

Most (all?) of the light displays were animated, and Ezra recognized about 90% of the displays. Two years old was definitely not too young to take Ezra. He sat on my lap completely enraptured the whole time.

Isaac stayed in his car seat until the end, but he was pretty captivated too. We had planned it so that the boys would fall asleep on the drive home, but that necessitated a nursing session and for Ezra, peeing on the "road". I'm so thankful that Ezra is willing to pee as I hold him on the side of the road because there have already been a number of times that he tells me he needs to go as we're driving with Isaac and a bathroom is inaccessible - at least quickly.

Ezra and I did some baking this week. He's quite the helper.

Our boys did some cuddling.

We went with my parents and siblings to watch them cut down their Christmas tree, but Seth found us a small tree and brought it home to decorate.

 Then we had to do some dancing.

And cleaning.

And then more sleeping! Isaac kept cracking us up. For a good thirty minute period - even though he was sleeping! - he kept crawling up to and over Ezra.